But...It's MY Truck...

One day, I got a text from my friend, DeNeale.  The text said, "hey would hubby let you use his drums when he's not home?"

I was in the middle of food shopping with two small boys, so I couldn't just text her back.  I needed both of my hands to keep kids from falling out of the cart and to grab groceries.  As I navigated the aisles of Shoprite, I discussed DeNeale's question with  her (Yes, i'm that woman you hate in the grocery store).

"Hey." she answered.

"Hey.  I'm food shopping, but I wanted to reply to your text.  See the hubby has this new electric drum kit thjat I personally don't feel comfortable touching without him around, but if it was his regular kit, sure he'd be fine with me touching it.  We've been together long enough that's not even an issue.

My answer was met with silence.  Then I heard DeNeale go "Mmmm, hmmm..."  and it was the kind of 'mmmm, hmmmm' that probably translated to "See, I was right."  It was then I realized that DeNeale was with her husband.  As soon as I realized this, I heard Eddie go "Whatever" in a defeated voice.

"Eddie's got a new truck.  He said I can't drive it." DeNeale explained to me.

"Oh." I said, now understanding the point behind the text, "Well I'm sorry, but if Eddie wanted to prove his point, he should have said 'hubby would never let me touch the vaccum when he's not around.'"

This is totally a true statement.  I could break out every instrument in this house and the hubby wouldn't mind.  In fact, he would praise my sudden interest in the arts.  However, if I lay one hand on his precious Dyson, he becomes like Peter Griffin in Family Guy when Meg touches the thermostat.  He'll appear out of nowhere and go:

"Who touched the vaccum?"

There have been days when he'll come home from work and ask me.

"Do you have something to tell me?"

I'll look at him and go "Yes, I cheated on you with the vaccum."

"Dammit." He'll mutter, walking away, hurt that the two loves of life betrayed him (yes, I know this vaccum isn't a person, but my husband doesn't).

There are days when the kids will spill crackers or cereal on the floor that the dog won't eat (don't judge).  I feel I must clean it up so my husband can come home to a clean house.  Instead of being appreciative of the effort, he's mad.

"You deprived me of the joy of cleaning it up." will be his reaction.

Yep, Eddie, you definitely used the wrong argument in your defense...next time, use the vaccum...