Burlington Crap Factory

Clarification: My birthday was October 27th...I updated this blog on the 27th...but the post says the 26th...fucker...well...it's the 27th...mark it down on the your birthday alarms...'aight?

Anyhoo...

You can't get cash back on your cash back policy

When I was pregnant with the boob, I of course registered at the baby stores. Unfortunately, some stores were only in New Jersey, and others were only in Maryland/Virginia. This seemed cool to me because then not everyone would be flocking to one store.

One store I registered at in NJ made a few people cringe. Burlington Coat Factory. *cringe* Apparently, Burlington sucked because they had a pretty crappy return policy. You basically had to have a receipt, the card the item was purchased with, and you had to stand on your head, reciete the Gettysburg address, then reciete the Nicene Creed. (People...there was not cash back policy).

Recently, Burlington was trying to make itself appear more kinder, gentler (and less burly) by issuing a new cash back policy. With any receipt, an item with tags still attached could be returned for cash or store credit.

Now...for boob's birthday my godmother went insane and brought her way more clothes than any 1 year old needs. Of course some clothes didn't fit, some didn't look right, and some were just not going to be good for this season. So, off the boob and I went to test this new 'store policy'. We get to Burly Factory and promptly find customer service. I'm greated by a cahsier who looks at me blankly and goes "you want to return this?"

"Um, yeah".

I give her the receipts with the items I wanted to return circled (thought it would make the process and her life easier). She looks them over and then says .

"We unfortunately need the card used to purchase these items in order to give money back."

"Well, I don't want to put money back on that card. I don't think my aunt would want that. I would be fine with store credit."

Suddenly the girl's eyes get wide and she almost seems to go wild.

"We can't do that" she spats at me.

I calmly say "Well it says on your store policy you can."

Before my calm persona has a chance to break another girl comes up and explains to the cashier that they can indeed give me store credit (HA!). The cahsier starts rifling through my returns (quite a few) and starts sighing and huffing. I am, at this point, biting my lip trying not to hate. The cahsier looks at the receipts and says to her friend "Well who circled all this?"

I grit, "I did, I thought I was helping you."

I am of course, ignored which is fine because I really don't want to fight for fear that store policy says fighting with cashiers will result in zero returns.

Suddenly, the cashier notices that all the tags have been reaffixed. Let me quickly explain that my godmother removed all the price tags for gift giving reasons, but gave me them all in case I wanted to return anything. She also anally wrote on the back of each tag what was what (YEHA!) So, I just reattahced the tags, then circled them on the receipt. I know the numbers match and I know each tag is what the item is. However, the cahsier thinks I'm trying to pull something. She asks an employee in infants to check the prices on all my returns. The employee looks at her as if to say "Are you friggin' kidding me?" She takes five minutes, returns and says they are fine. She looks at me as if to say "I can't believe this bitch is putting you through this" (she was nice to me when I went shopping in the infants department later).

Finally, the cashier starts getting my return ready. All the while, sighing, tisking, and huffing. I wanted to go "Why are you giving me a hard time for returning my items. Is it THAT HARD to do?" But again, thinking it's not store police to insult the cashier.

I got cash and a gift card back for my return. The great find at BCF was 99 cent bath books. I've been combing the stores for these things for month. They are great for a teething boob. But alas, nothing else in BCF was to scream home about. Really sad, but the experience of trying to return my items has permanently turned me off from the place.

-The BB

To my friends on my 30th Birthday

I'm feeling sappy...and I know there is no day but today. So today for my birthday, I'm sending a message to each of my friends.

TSCGirl - Thank you for sticking around, lending an ear, and being all around supportive. Also thank you for welcoming in your family (I feel like part of the furniture!). I am grateful after all these years that you are still my friend and even more grateful that we've grown closer through the years.

Kenazz - It's amazing how some people stick with you...and you have no idea why...that's all I got. Just remember, I taught you all you know ;).

AlJoJo - I am so happy we've crossed paths again. My favorite memory was you taking me to see your old home after Insight. It was so nice to relieve that with you. And now it's been great talking babies with you and sharing in the moments as our family grows. You're an awesome mother and I am so proud that you are such a business woman too! You are very talented and awesome at what you do.

Daisies - Wow, we've known each other how long? Too cool. Thanks for looking me up. It's been great reconnecting with you. I hope soon to completely catch up, but for now, I'll take it in bits in pieces. You were always a great friend as a kid and I can tell you are going to be one in our adulthood too.

DeeDee - You know some friends completely blow you off after you have a kid, but not you. Thank you for being so great to Tori. Also thank you for encouraging me all these times to get out and shop or hang out. Mall walking didn't induce labor, but it did help me in other ways. Thanks for being constantly supportive, nice, and also for keeping in touch.

Whispers - You girl...you alone out of all of them have seen the worst of times I've been through. And I can honestly say if it weren't for you, I would have been dead. Thank you for feeding me when I had no food, taking me in when I had no home, and most of all carrying me on your back when I had cramps. That's friendship girl! And when I'm doubting some decisions I've made (you know which ones) for supporting me because you know, you know what I went through, you know why I have to do what I do. Finally, thank you for giving me my godson. You need to come here and see how many photos I have of him around my house...Tori's just catching up now...I love him, I love you...You too are more than a friend, a sister. Bloodsisters, forever. Finally, to your psychic abilities to always know when I'm thinking of you and calling me.

Dork - I'm your geek. Thank you thank you for being loyal and there whenever I truly uly need you. I look at our girls and see us all over again...oh boy!!! PS...we need to take our 2006 picture...something with the girls...

Beavis - Dude, I'll never think of hare krishnas, Walmart, or 'the sun' without thinking of you. I think about you more than you know. I love ya dude. There was a time when we were our longest relationships. Now we have husbands.

Mele - I am so glad I've gotten to know you. Your are the sweetest, most thoughtful person ever. Thank you for always including me in your life. Remember, you are a wonderful person. You derserve the best in life and I pray for that for you.

Moolady - You were the best prom date ever!! Thanks for sticking around. Also thanks for the house advice, kid advice, all around advice. You rock.

B - It's been a pleasure to watch you grow. Thank you for also being a part of my life. I hope you continue to be forevermore.

Grania - You are the sister I always dreamed of. You have become this amazing woman. And I am so happy to have been there for almost every moment. I'm not there for them all, but I think of you so much. And I am so grateful for whatever time we do get to spend together. Especially since you are so busy!! The boob looks up to your already. You are the perfect aunt.

Bro - When my life was dark you were the light that brought me out the darkness. You are the coolest, brightest, sweetest person I know. By now I thought you would want nothing to do with me, but you still do. And I have so much fun when I spend time with you. In the case of siblings, I definitely lucked out with you. I love you.

J - When I first moved from NJ, I would hear a car speed past my new house and I waited. But it wasn't you coming to visit. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being you. You never try to be anything you aren't. You are who you are, and that's what I like best about you. Also thank you for never ever saying anything (well you don't say much period) by way of talking down to me or making me feel bad. Finally, thank you for being an awesome listener. I'm trying to be better in letting you get a word in edgewise. One more thing, I know you are going to be something, because you have never given up. Never give up. It will pay off. I believe in that.

wazis - After having so much trouble finding my place in this new town, I'm grateful to have someone I can turn to and find support from that isn't so far away. Also, I'm grateful to find someone as sick as me >:).

Polarhound - You meet alot of freaks on the internet and god knows I met my share. It's amazing to me that after all the online chatting I did way back when, I only have 'online friend' from those days. But you aren't just an online friend, you are a true friend. One who flies all the way from his home to visit mine (that's pretty amazing). Also you are always thoughtful and good with the advice. Thanks and heres to many more years.

Noodles - Who'da thought a paper could bring two people close together? We will always have our 'baby' that we share. And I was so glad afterwards that you wanted to keep the weekly tradition of seeing me. I miss you so much now that I live in VA and you are in NY. I also miss Noodles and company as much as you probably do. Thanks for always making the trek to see me when I'm in Beachwood. I hope to see you soon and I am so glad to have you as my friend. You love to hear me talk about the boob, but you also provide me with much needed 'girltalk'. Finally, I'm glad I turned you to the dark side of Family Guy :), but I'll remember our hours of watching 'Curb' near to my heart.

Silver - It's been cool getting to know you more and talking about our kids. My thoughts are so with you right now. Thanks for always keeping me posted on your kids, your family, and life.

He Who Protects the Cheese - There are days I have no idea what my mission in life is...and then there are days it's crystal clear. No one will ever understand or get you, but I hope I at least do. Thank you for offering up (without me asking) the best praise and reminders of how good a person I am and can be. I am honored to be your friend. It's pretty sweet.

Booboohead - I wouldn't be where I am without you. Without you I would never have had the courage to finish school. Without you, I would never have believed I could live on my own. Without you I would never have believed I could return to theatre. Without you, I would have never thought my dreams are possible. I'm still working on them, but I'm hoping with your support I can achieve them. You are an amazingly smart and talented man. I'm in constant awe of you. I am one lucky woman. But I can also say with strong confidence...you are one lucky man :).

That's the WORD..Happy Birthday to me...