How to Traumatize your child

Actual email sent to the hubby, slightly edited...Subject line was YOUR Cat...


The boob was looking out the window while brushing her teeth and suddenly says

"Mommy I want Tiki back" (BB note: Tiki is one of our ferrets that died last year...however, the boob took to calling our living ferret, Duece - Tiki. A month ago, Duece ran away) and she started getting teary and insisting we get outside.

I was like "Ok, ok. Finishing brushing your teeth"

Then she goes, "Mommy, Tiki is outside with Sable" (Another note: Sable is one of our cats, our youngest cat to be specific)

I was like "Ok...show me" I looked out the bedroom window...saw nothing...

So I check the boob's teeth and I'm like "Ok, we'll go look for Duece" (because I know Tiki is really Duece).

I didn't think anything of it...thought maybe it was an overimaginative mind.

We got outisde, were looking around, when suddenly I heard a whine that sounded like Snickers (yet another note: Snickers is my bro's beagle...they have a very distinctive whine) whining...I looked over in the sunflower garden...and there was YOUR Cat (Sable) with a baby BUNNY in her mouth...

Blood was pouring from it and the boob saw it all in plain sight. I started screaming at Sable, the boob automatically started crying...Then she ran upstairs and sat on the deck until I went to get her five minutes later.

I screamed at Sable to drop it. I also grabbed a nearby 2x4 and started swinging at the cat in hopes of convincing her to drop it (PETA note: I did not swing directly at my cat...just over her head in hopes of separating her from little nut brown hare). When she finally did it was too late...And she kept going towards it, but I managed to get her and put her inside.

The pour thing died three minutes later...it should probably be buried, I don't know what to do with it.

The boob came inside with me so I could email you and broke into tears "I don't like Sable!" I tried to explain that kitties do that and she was only bringing us a present, but I agreed, it's not the kind of present I would want...

I wish I knew where she found it because there has to be more and I don't want her killing more...of course now the boob thinks Sable will kill Flopsey (ANOTHER NOTE: our rabbit who lives in the wash room with her)...

That's what you are missing today...

Love,

Your wife

Final note: Hubby later called and asked me if I did anything with little nut brown hare's body and I said "No." He said "Are you going to do anything with his body...just toss him behind the shed" (where we put all the animal carnage...birds...mice). I said "He's too big to put back there, he needs to be buried." Hubby goes "Oh just put him a bag and toss him". I then said "I'm not doing THAT by myself".

Actually I'm not doing that period...some things are just meant for men to do...

Also, I told the boob in the future I will definitely be listening to her when she tells me Sable is up to something...no more dawdling to get outside...