Say Beeh!
You know I have always meant to focus this blog on my life in this area. And lately I've had so many experiences that are just...well just wrong or plain damn funny. To refresh you all, Bealeton is located in Fauquier County, VA. Fauquier County has dedicated itself to preserving agriculture. Most of the area is farming communities and quite a few people I know own farms or own a large amount of land with animals (mini farm of sorts). This truly leads me to some interesting situations sometimes.
Every have one of those moments in your life where you go "How the hell am I going to get out of this?" while at the same time feeling like the biggest retard ever? Top it off, you know somewhere, someone is watching you going "what a dumbass". I've had many of these moments in my life. This is just one of them.
I belong to a stay at home moms club. I enjoy it. It has provided me and the boob with plenty of opportunities to get out and meet people. The boob gets a chance to play with other kids and I get a change to talk to people taller than me (I'm so begging for smart ass comments from my friends that read this blog). I've made some really good friend in the club and I've found a way to get involved in the community.
Anyway, one of the things this moms club does is it provides meals for a member that has just given birth. It's a nice way of helping a new mom adjust to a new baby in the house. Also, it's one less thing for a new mom to worry about. Recently, my friend, Saybeeh, gave birth to a ginormous boy. She has one daughter that is about the same age as the boob. and most of her family lives in Holland. Top it off, she and her hubby have major food allergies, therefore not alot of people were brave enough to cook a meal for them. So, I signed up to make her a meal.
Now me cooking for someone is not necessarily funny. It's more the act of me delivering the meal that's a riot. Saybeeh lives on one of the local farms. Their section of the farm is a sheep farm. Finding the farm wasn't hard, especially once I realized where it exactly was. That was phone call #1 to Saybeeh.
Me: "Hey, like how far from Great Meadows do you live?"
Saybeeh: "Oh just past it. Big sheep farm, can't miss it." (unless you are me).
Now I followed the directions fine, I thought. I went through the blue gate, started to drive on down. Then for whatever reason, I thought I should go through another gate. I got through this gate and I realized I'm lost. Phone call #2:
Me: "Where is your house?"
Saybeeh: "Where are you?"
Me: "I went through the gate and now I'm by the horses."
Saybeeh: "Oh I see you. Oh no, you don't go through that gate, go drived around and go back where you came from and go straight."
I drive around and thought I went straight. This time Saybeeh calls me. Phone call #3:
Saybeeh: "What are you doing?" -- Obviously she can see me from wherever she is.
Me: "Where is your car? What car do you drive?" (I'm so trying to save my dignity)
Saybeeh: "I'm not in that house, go back through the first gate and drive straight towards the white and black house."
I followed her directions, drove back through the first gate, and sure enough I see the house, clear across the field. All I have to do is...drive trhough the herd of sheep.
Oh yeah...this is gonna be good...
According to Saybeeh I can just drive through and they'll move. However, these fuckers wouldn't move for nothing. Seriously, Saybeeh is a liar. That or I'm a wimp (everyone go for #2). I start my way down and come to my first sheep road block. They don't move. I of course slow down my car because I'm afraid of killing a poor sheep. Still no one moves. I was also afraid to honk my horn and seem obnoxious so I inch ever so slowly until the sheep huffs and goes off. Ok, next road block. Unbeknowest to me, all the sheep start flocking towards me car (apparently full size cars are interesting things). As I'm trying to get through road block #2, I suddenly see them swarming to me. All of them are shouting a collective "BEEH!" Sheep peek in my windows, walk back and forth in front of my car, and bleet at me. Some even stop and take a leak as I'm inching towards them. I really must have gone only 2 mph trying to get past them. When I finally did get through the sea of sheep, Saybeeh was at her door and said
"You could have honked at them."
Trust me...honking doesn't work either. Sheep have got to be the dumbest animals EVER.
-The BB
Every have one of those moments in your life where you go "How the hell am I going to get out of this?" while at the same time feeling like the biggest retard ever? Top it off, you know somewhere, someone is watching you going "what a dumbass". I've had many of these moments in my life. This is just one of them.
I belong to a stay at home moms club. I enjoy it. It has provided me and the boob with plenty of opportunities to get out and meet people. The boob gets a chance to play with other kids and I get a change to talk to people taller than me (I'm so begging for smart ass comments from my friends that read this blog). I've made some really good friend in the club and I've found a way to get involved in the community.
Anyway, one of the things this moms club does is it provides meals for a member that has just given birth. It's a nice way of helping a new mom adjust to a new baby in the house. Also, it's one less thing for a new mom to worry about. Recently, my friend, Saybeeh, gave birth to a ginormous boy. She has one daughter that is about the same age as the boob. and most of her family lives in Holland. Top it off, she and her hubby have major food allergies, therefore not alot of people were brave enough to cook a meal for them. So, I signed up to make her a meal.
Now me cooking for someone is not necessarily funny. It's more the act of me delivering the meal that's a riot. Saybeeh lives on one of the local farms. Their section of the farm is a sheep farm. Finding the farm wasn't hard, especially once I realized where it exactly was. That was phone call #1 to Saybeeh.
Me: "Hey, like how far from Great Meadows do you live?"
Saybeeh: "Oh just past it. Big sheep farm, can't miss it." (unless you are me).
Now I followed the directions fine, I thought. I went through the blue gate, started to drive on down. Then for whatever reason, I thought I should go through another gate. I got through this gate and I realized I'm lost. Phone call #2:
Me: "Where is your house?"
Saybeeh: "Where are you?"
Me: "I went through the gate and now I'm by the horses."
Saybeeh: "Oh I see you. Oh no, you don't go through that gate, go drived around and go back where you came from and go straight."
I drive around and thought I went straight. This time Saybeeh calls me. Phone call #3:
Saybeeh: "What are you doing?" -- Obviously she can see me from wherever she is.
Me: "Where is your car? What car do you drive?" (I'm so trying to save my dignity)
Saybeeh: "I'm not in that house, go back through the first gate and drive straight towards the white and black house."
I followed her directions, drove back through the first gate, and sure enough I see the house, clear across the field. All I have to do is...drive trhough the herd of sheep.
Oh yeah...this is gonna be good...
According to Saybeeh I can just drive through and they'll move. However, these fuckers wouldn't move for nothing. Seriously, Saybeeh is a liar. That or I'm a wimp (everyone go for #2). I start my way down and come to my first sheep road block. They don't move. I of course slow down my car because I'm afraid of killing a poor sheep. Still no one moves. I was also afraid to honk my horn and seem obnoxious so I inch ever so slowly until the sheep huffs and goes off. Ok, next road block. Unbeknowest to me, all the sheep start flocking towards me car (apparently full size cars are interesting things). As I'm trying to get through road block #2, I suddenly see them swarming to me. All of them are shouting a collective "BEEH!" Sheep peek in my windows, walk back and forth in front of my car, and bleet at me. Some even stop and take a leak as I'm inching towards them. I really must have gone only 2 mph trying to get past them. When I finally did get through the sea of sheep, Saybeeh was at her door and said
"You could have honked at them."
Trust me...honking doesn't work either. Sheep have got to be the dumbest animals EVER.
-The BB
posted by Bealeton Babe @ 7:02 PM
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