My cat can beat up your honor student

Wow I went through all of June without a post? Bad, bad me. Well at least the month isn't completely over. In case any of the four people who read this blog care, (which I know you do), I've been spending the time off working. I've been working on a few things. First, I've been doing real work which is a feat amongst itself. Then I've been doing work for me. Me work. What's me work? Well me work for me is working on writing. Specifically, working on a book. I've done a little here and there. My personal goal is to have something publishable (is that a word?) by the fall. Here's hoping.

Anyhoo...I have a few blog ideas, I wanted to get out and this one was too good to not do. I'm doing this cold (not writing it, typing it out as I go) so please forgive the unpolished blog. However, the boob has taken to not wanting to fall asleep without me in the room, so as I wait for her to give in to sleep, I'm typing this blog.

Saturday, I got a call from the neighbors across the street from me. In the three years we've lived here they have never said 'boo' to me. I've seen them working around the house from time to time and have always wondered about them. So they call me Saturday. Actually, the husband calls me. He starts by saying "We found your dog's collar." I found that pretty amazing since my dog hadn't left the yard yet. Then he goes on to read the collar "M-Y-S-T-I-C".

"Oh, um, that's actually, my cat, Mystic." (Oh boy, I think, here we go, what the fuck did he do now?)

"Oh, we'll, is your cat home? Did you lose your cat?"

I turn to hubby and ask him if Mystic is home.

"Yep, he's home."

"Is he ok?"

"Looked fine to me."

I get back to the man on the phone. It's now his wife. Apparently he wasn't explaining things right to me. She gets on the phone. I explain to her the collar belongs to my cat and he's home and fine.

"Well there was alot of fur in our backyard. Gray fur. I think your cat was fighting with this cat I've been feeding on the front porch. He's a stray in the area."

Socks...shit shit shit...

Ok...backstory. Socks is the neighborhood feral cat. We never really thought he belonged to anyone. And two years ago, Socks took to hanging in our yard. He stopped after Mystic beat the snot out of him. He sometimes will tussle with Mystic but has taken to attempting to kick the snot out of my 9lbs 4 year old cat. I think he figures if he beats a smaller gray cat, it'll help him feel better for not being able to beat Mystic. I'm almost positive one day Mystic will kill Socks if he can.

"Um...I'm sorry." I say to the woman, "Did my cat...um...hurt your cat?"

"Oh no, he's not my cat. He's a feral. I've been trying to get the ASPCA to come get him for a year. They told me to feed him until they get here. Well, it's been a year."

First off...um...feeding a feral cat isn't the best idea if you aren't going to bring him into your house. I want to beat the ASPCA for even suggesting that to the poor lady. I can't understand what's taking them so long to come up with a cat trap. I can trap Socks myself if I could borrow a trap. The neighbor told me he appears to be sick. Which gets me because if he has FIV or feline leukemia then he could possibly spread it to all the other cats in the neighborhood. Lucky for me I got Mystic all his shots.

Later, I picked up Mystic's collar and they showed me his fur all over their backyard. I told them he was fine. They told me Socks had some sores (absesses I bet) on his head. I apologized for my cat's bruteness. The neighbors were like "Oh no, Socks has beaten up almost every cat in this neighborhood. He's not a friendly cat." So apparently, my cat is doing a public service by kicking the snot out of him daily.

When I went to put Mystic's collar back on, I did another scan of his body. Apparently he did take a hit in this new fight. He lost a claw. Basically, Socks got the shit kicked out of him and my cat just lost a nail.

Ain't that something?

-The BB.