Oh Well

I'm having one of those days where I'm begging God for patience and I'm rebuking myself for being selfish. Not going to go too into depth here, but I find myself lately asking myself why I keep doing things for other people. How come I can't do for myself more? Then I get all on myself for being selfish and even contemplating being selfish. But then I ask myself "What's in it for me?" Then in the next breath I go "Oh just shut up and do it, at least you're guaranteed into heaven" (after a post bashing my family, I'm guaranteed to go to hell...but here's hoping...).

It's one of those stalemates, I know my life would be infinitely easier if I thought of just myself. But then again, who said life was easy? And what's a little inconvience on my end to help others out? Maybe in the long range look of things, I could just be looking for just a little bit more appreciation and maybe a pay it forward in my end. Is that so wrong?

-The BB