Boob Lament...

So the boob had a cold this weekend. Naturally, who gets it? Moi, of course. Hubby is away sailing at the Solomon Islands, so he's free from germs. This actually works well for me cause I don't need him getting this. He would just whine consistently (I"M TIRED...I'M SICK). He's a man, they do that (LOVE YOU HONEY...but you know I'm right).

I really would like him around though to help suck out the boob's snot. I use that bulb thingy, but she's on to me. She tosses, turns and screeches something fierce. I admit to evil thoughts as I try to get that bugger sucker in her nose...Don't worry ya'll, I'm spoiling her rotten. She's slept in bed every day she's been sick. It'll be fun when we are all well again.

In other news...it's friggin hot out here and damn, I forgot to water my garden...I hope it forgives me.

Slight off track subject...sorry...

So what's the title today...oh boobs...yeah...I lost mine...no kidding...I can thank the boob for that. Well the boob and my extreme will power to not eat a whole box of cookies anymore.

It all became clear during a mall romp the other day when I went to get Margie her birthday gift. I went to Victoria Secret to get sized up for a post baby bra. I noticed they weren't the knockers I had when I was nursing, but I expected them to be my normal 32C, maybe even a 34 C. The thought of me being 34C actually excited me cause like I can buy bras off a rack and not have to order them from a catalog anymore...meant I can find a bra in my size. This also meant I could buy bras in other colors...not just white or beige (yawn).

I do have plenty of 32 C bras at home. However, hubby requested new bras because...well he hates my granny bras. He wants sexy...black...underwire (he's pushin it at the last one...I LOATH underwire...gives me nothing but bruises). Sharing alarm go off yet?

Ok...at Vicky's...I gingerly go and ask a sales lady if she would measure me. I figure she would lead me in back and measure me there. Oh no, no. She goes, gets her tape, and measures me in the MIDDLE OF THE STORE! I'm standing there, she measures me and goes...

"Ok, you are about 33 (figures, I have to be a fucking odd size there...excuse french...but it's frustrating) and cup size...A"

"WHAT!" I screech in the middle of the store...I'm sure people are looking at me. I continue

"I haven't been an A since before puberty! I've been a 32 C since high school. I just had a baby...are you sure?"

She was sure. She took at two bras for me to try on. One 32B (to humor me) and a 34 A. I tried the 32 B...tight...looked like I was popping out. I thought..."No freaking way is this 34 A going to fit". God dammit it did. Fit nicely to. Was this nice black, no underwire bra...fit me like a glove. I look at the price tag...$42.

Making the girls look nice for hubby isn't worth $42. However, she shows me the other bras like it. I have to admit...I stared longingly at the rainbow before me...blue, pink, beige, black, white, even purple (insert coat of many colors song here). However, $42...hell no.

Then my real feelings popped into my head. I lost my boobs. I was sad. Yeah it was cool not having to lug around 32C jugs (or even 36Es for that matter--nursing boobs), but there was this dread. My first thought was..."The hubby is going to be so sad...he likes boobs. Ihave no boobs for my husband...". Then I felt this loss. I felt like I was nothing without my boobs.

Now I know this is horseshit. And I also know a big reason why my boobs are an A is because nursing sucked most the muscle out of them. Coupled with my recent weight loss...and voila...boobage loss. I'm sure some excercise and the inevitable post nursing weight gain will bring them back. There is also the dealing with the difference in feel of my boobs. They are softer from nursing...flater (no shit...I'm an A...I'm Skipper flat). Furthermore, I know I am so much more than my boobs. But you know...32Cs...I dealt with them for so long...we've been through so much...the agony of searching for a strapless bra in Kohl's. The disappointment in finding anything in any store anywhere that wasn't underwire or under coverage. Then there was the ordering through catalog upon catalog for years...

wait a minute...I'm MISSING THIS???

You know what...I'm keeping the weight off...I lost it fair and square (no I didn't)...it stays off. And screw this...I'll just wait until next year when I get knocked up again and enjoy those pregnancy boobs and the subsequent nursing boobs...

But should I still get a new bra for hubby? Let's see what the good old hanes catalog has...maybe I can get a black bra for him...

-The BB.