At the gas station

Okay, so I pull into the gas station by the 7-Eleven cause it's a whole one cent cheaper than the Liberty station down the street. In this day in age, a whole cent cheaper gas can turn into 10's of dollars by the end of the month. Unfortunately, other people in Bealeton are on to this too. So, I must wait in line for my gas.

The other day, however, was the worst. I pull in, and I'm waiting, and waiting, and waiting. I'm thinking 'WTF'? There are two cars in front of me. I'm thinking, i cannot move up until the person most forward is done, cause apparently gas station etiquette says you must pull all the way forward when getting gas (yes, apparently there is gas station etiquette).

So I'm waiting. I must have been lucky because BOTH people were taking a really long time. The woman in the back pump, finally decided to get out of her car and walk up to pay for her gas. She's walking very slowly with no sense of urgency and I keep saying to myself "Don't be hatin' ". Calming breath. It's all good.

Then I look at the aisle next to me. A man in a very old Ford pickup pulls up and starts to get out of his car to pump his gas. First he parks completely askew to the pump. Like his gas tank couldn't be farther from the actually pump. I'm thinking when all was said and done, he parked his car so his gas tank was in Remington (the town next to us...get it?). The man gets out and is moving slower than slow. I take a closer look and realize this man is on cruthes and he's trying to pump his gas. Poor fellow, too bad I wasn't feeling charitable, or I would have helped him.

This man, who takes FOREVER to even get to his pump, is done BEFORE the other two in front of me even think about paying for their gas. The woman in the behind pump goes in to pay. She walks in, and walks out, slower than a turtle. I watch her and think "Who the hell pays their gas in cash anymore? Geezus, use a freaking debit card and stop carrying cash that muggers can take from you."

Woman at behind pump leaves. I start to edge forward, hoping man at front pump is done. No, he isn't. Dumb ass is just GETTING OUT of his car to START pumping his gas. But first he has to go pay too, inside (super dumb ass). All the while talking on his cell. Must have been on an important phone call, too important to pump and talk at the same time.

I say, "Frig it", I go and pull up behind him and start to pay and pump. I decided to screw around with the guy when I notice he's watching me and do the whole 'wash my windows routine' (ya'll know what I'm talking about). He actually finishes before me and leave (amazing when you set your mind to something how fast you can accomplish it).

There, I am, pumping, thinking, I have seen it all. Suddenly, I look over and see it, a woman walking into 7-Eleven with a shopping cart. You can't make this stuff up if you tried, people. Like what do these people think? Do they think 'convienence' or do they think they just love paying through the nose for a bag of Combos?

"See ya later honey, i'm gonna go get some groceries at the 7-Eleven" --

"Don't forget the pork rinds sugah"

Amen...BB